Heavy Wet Stick

Käthe Kollwitz, Detail of Frontal Self-Portrait, 1922–23. Courtesy Wikimedia.

Detail of Frontal Self-Portrait

I am lying in the dark
can’t fall asleep
remembering the sentence of the blind man, last name Beloglazov
he battered his wife and shoved a rolling pin into her vagina
there was so much blood
she died
but he wasn’t put in jail
because the medical examiner said that
the wife hit her head against the corner of the house
several hours prior
and that this trauma was the cause of death
the judge said the son said the mother said
she had a headache
and the judge said
this proves that she hit her head against the corner of the house
and would have died anyway
even if Beloglazov hadn’t shoved a rolling pin into her vagina
so they released Beloglazov
he wasn’t even given a suspended sentence
just a 3000 ruble fine
for shoving a rolling pin
for the wife screaming in pain
for there being so much blood
and she was dying
bloody
in pain
alone
on the floor
she lay on the floor in a pool of blood
she screamed
her mother told the court
there was so much blood
everyone was amazed at how much blood
screams
pain
in Russia rape is when a
cock
is shoved into a
cunt
and thrusts are performed
one thrust is sufficient
and this will be rape
but if they’ve shoved into your
cunt
a rolling pin a stick
any object except for a
cock
and even if many many thrusts are performed
with this rolling pin
any other object except for a
cock
if many thrusts are performed
caused a lot of
pain
if into your
cunt
they have introduced not a
cock
hurting violently
this is not rape
no
no no no
this is not rape
our lovely women
our magnificent women
our womanly women
how would we live without you
dear women
we celebrate you dearly
you decorate our lives
we congratulate you our beloved women
this is not rape no no no
Nature has endowed women with incomparable beauty and inexhaustible energy, emotional tenderness and selfless devotion, vital wisdom and incredible patience. You upkeep the family hearth, raise children, achieve success in professional and social activities, all the while remaining forever youthful and beautiful. On this spring day we wish You smiles, a wonderful festive mood, happiness in your family, well-being, health for You and Your loved ones! May you always remain alluring, feminine and loved! When men shove rolling pins into your genital organs it’s not rape shove rolling pins and it’s not rape it’s simply a slight slight feminine slight harm to your wellbeing! And the same goes for sticks! Please accept our sincere congratulations! Lovely women!
in Russia
if a woman has been raped with a rolling pin
it means she was not raped
rape is only possible with a male genital organ
only a male genital organ
has the right to rape
only a cock has the right to rape

DD.MM.YYYY in the time between 18 and 19 o’clock
defendant Beloglazov V.A.
and his wife B.E.
were in their apartment
at this time
and in this location
Beloglazov V.A.
deliberately inflicted upon B.E.
with sufficient force
no fewer than 5 punches
to the area of the face, head and left shoulder.
Beloglazov V.A. took a wooden stick (a rolling pin),
located in the apartment,
after which
slipped off the undergarments of B.E.
and forcefully
inserted
it
into the
v
a
g
i
n
a
of B.E.

Beloglazov V.A., being blind,
did not foresee
the possibility of generally harmful consequences
the death of the victim B.E.
death of B.E.
two injuries on the back wall of the
vagina,
identified as causing
minor
harm to wellbeing
belonging to the category of misdemeanors
small
mass
causing minor harm to wellbeing
bodily injury to the area of the
vagina
of B.E.,
as causing minor harm to the wellbeing
Damage to the
vagina
of the victim
was limited to only the mucous membrane,
and did not extend to the cavity
or the tissue of the pelvis
and therefore
cannot be regarded as damage that
caused grievous bodily harm.
damage to the
vagina
of the victim
was limited to only the mucous membrane,
and did not extend to the cavity
or the tissue of the pelvis
and therefore
cannot be regarded
as damage
causing grievous bodily harm
The inconsequential size of the
wounds
of the vaginal mucosa (1.5 x 0.3 cm)
permit the aforementioned damage to be considered
as causing
minor harm to the wellbeing
because
in the living
this would have resulted in
short-term disordered health
Wounds (2)
of the mucous membrane of the back wall of the
vagina.
may have occurred due to the effects of a blunt solid object,
not to be immediately dismissed,
as a result of the insertion
into the vagina
of a rolling pin,
and shortly before death
(no more than 1 hour before death)
in the living
would have resulted in
short-term disordered health.
two ruptures of the vaginal wall –
may have occurred as a result of the
insertion
of a blunt object
into the vagina
The aforementioned damage
may have been formed
as a result of the
insertion
into the vagina
of a blunt object
as evidenced by their uneven edges.
The coloring of the hemorrhage,
surrounding
The coloring of the hemorrhage,
surrounding
surrounding
the injured
surface
the absence of signs of mucosal healing
in the living
would have resulted in
short-term disordered health
indicating
that the aforementioned damage
occurred shortly before
death.
The aforementioned damage
may all have occurred simultaneously,
and therefore are not categorized separately in their degree of severity in harm
to wellbeing. The aforementioned damage
considered hazardous to health
qualifies
as causing
grievous bodily harm
A wooden rolling pin
length 35.5cm.
diameter 2.8cm.
In the kitchen in a dweter
to the right of the entrance
a wooden rolling pin
was discovered
In the center of the room
the corpse of B.E.
was discovered
The corpse lies supine.
The external genitalia
and the progression to the frontal surface
the stomach, hips, buttocks
are stained with blood.
Beloglazov V.A. should be
acquitted
Beloglazov V.A. should be acquitted
the court considers that
given the circumstances
Beloglazov V.A.
should
be
a
c
q
u
i
t
t
e
d
The actions of Beloglazov V.A.
in relation to
the victim B.E.
ought to be properly qualified
he intentionally caused
minor
harm to wellbeing
committed a crime
of light severity
firstly,
is blind,
claims
a dependent minor,
this mitigates culpability.
The case presents no aggravating circumstances.
Beloglazov V.A. may be sentenced to a fine
sentence him to a fine in the sum of 3,000 rubles

I cannot reread
I will not reread
these will be bad poems
bad poems about badness
bad poems about how I was not killed
how lucky
I wasn’t killed
on the train when I smoked between the train cars
in the woods by the dacha when I met a stranger
on the streets visiting a friend at home anywhere they could have
they could have
but I was lucky
I was lucky that you didn’t insert into me
sticks rolling pins and other objects
that you didn’t cause minor harm to my wellbeing
ripped my vaginal walls
walls
the walls withstood
my walls
thin walls
the vagina is not a vital organ
well yes well yes
especially when they kill because of it
especially when only because I have a vagina
my life is not exclusively my own
my life only because I have a vagina
is always in someone else’s hands
like a stick like a rolling pin like other objects
my life is my vagina is not a vital
organ
the organ plays
the choir
the cock
is incidentally also not a vital organ
the cock is not a vital organ
oh woman it’s not important not important how you feel about it
yesyesyesyes important very important the cock is an important vital organ
there theretherethere your there yesyes how does it feel there
his male vitally unimportant but important to determine
whether you woman were raped or not raped
cock
the cock determines not you woman whether you were raped or not raped

Bukhantzov S.N. began to harass her, suggested they partake in sexual intercourse, which she refused. After which Bukhantzov proceeded to inflict kicks to her head and body

began to choke her, and when she lost consciousness, he undressed her, after which, he picked up from the ground

a stick

and forcefully

inserted this stick into her vagina,
i
n
s
e
r
t
e
d
i
n
t
o
t
h
e
v
a
g
i
n
a,
where he twisted it and pulled out the intestines.

The preliminary investigation proposes to classify the actions of the defendant S.N. Bukhantzov under Part 1 Article 105 of the criminal code as murder, that is, intentionally causing the death of another person.

During the trial the public prosecutor came to the conclusion that the defendant was missing a specified corpus delicti

the vagina – does not constitute a vital organ

subsequently he mitigated the severity of the sentence, suggesting to classify the actions of the defendant under Part 4 Article 111 of the criminal code

grossly negligent behavior resulting in the unintentional death of G.

The court accepts the indicated change of charge

When G. was already bloody, she decided to undress her, removed all of her clothing, which he had scattered nearby, then took the wooden

stick

and forcefully

inserted this stick into her vagina
i
n
s
e
r
t
e
d
i
n
t
o
t
h
e
v
a
g
i
n
a,
Then removed the aforementioned

stick,

G’s intestines remaining on it.

The traumatic detachment of the entire small intestine through the vagina

During the court proceedings the public prosecutor came to the conclusion that

The vagina – does not constitute a vital organ

The court accepts the indicated change of charge

The court, taking into account the provisions of Article 10 of the criminal code, classifies the actions of the defendant Bukhantzov S.N. under Part 4 Article 111 of the criminal code – deliberate infliction of grievous bodily harm, dangerous to human life, resulting in the death of the victim due to gross negligence

gross negligence

suggested to have sexual intercourse

suggested!

attacked began to choke her and this is called suggested yes yes of course he politely offered and she

she refused

refused!

the court looks at the woman through the eyes of the rapist the court sympathizes with the rapist the court identifies itself as the rapist the court the cock the court the cock the court identifies itself with the cock this is the cock saying he suggested this is the cock saying she refused in a dark park when I walk in a dark park with a former classmate who is walking me home because it’s dangerous to walk alone in the dark park you could be raped by men after all you are the weaker fairer sex you could be raped I am strong I am a defender let me walk you home thank you and so here I’m walking through the dark park with my former classmate and everything is good and I’ve known him all my life we’re walking and he begins pestering me he first starts bringing his face close to mine I’ve never seen his eyes up this close before I’ve never breathed in his scent this close in the middle of the dark park let’s kiss he says come on he says he loves me he cries I say stop it let’s go I need to go home the kid is waiting for me he says wait just one kiss I say stop it let’s go he says wait real tears I turn away when he wants to kiss me let me go I break loose and he becomes very strong stronger than me he rips my clothing he throws me naked onto the ground but his cock won’t get hard and he blames me for his cock not getting hard and he hits me and chokes me and when I lose consciousness he inserts a stick into me inserts a stick into me and after I die and in court after my death the court the male prosecutor the male judge the court says we suggested to have intercourse and she refused and we inserted a stick into her and due to negligence inflicted grievous bodily harm inadvertently resulting in her death my death due to negligence due to negligence that is here she is the negligent walking through a park negligently why did I walk through the park why did I refuse this means it turns out to be all my fault yes? refused refused he suggested but I refused and due to negligence he inserted a stick the court tells me he did not intend to rape me he just oh well it’s just natural he’s a man you see it’s easy for us to understand the court says the court says he just wanted to engage in sexual intercourse and you refused and he inserted the stick into your vagina and understandably to us in the court underestimated his masculine powers he’s just strong and you’re weak I’m weak I just have a vagina and he has a cock the court he inserted a stick into me pulled out my intestines draped them on the bushes around due to negligence he raped me no no says the court he did not rape you no no and why not well that’s because he could have only raped you with a cock you don’t rape with a stick in our country no our Russian men by our Russian laws insert sticks into vaginas only for the intention of causing damage due to negligence minor or grievous harm here Beloglazov caused minor injuries and his wife died and Bukhantzov caused grievous injuries and his former classmate also died but what unifies these men is that by our Russian laws they did not rape they simply inserted sticks into the vaginas of women they inserted sticks in order to cause harm to their wellbeing it doesn’t matter what the women felt doesn’t matter that the women felt they were being raped it doesn’t matter that for the women this was rape rape and nothing else because it was their vaginas that sticks rolling pins were painfully painfully inserted it’s their vaginas their pain their life their death and to the court it doesn’t matter that the women died it doesn’t matter because a woman’s vagina does not constitute a vital organ because a woman’s vagina is a deadly organ

the vagina is a deadly organ
the vagina is a deadly organ
the vagina is a deadly organ
the vagina is a deadly organ
the vagina is a deadly organ
the vagina is a deadly organ
v
a
g
i
n
a
i
s
a
d
e
a
d
l
y
o
r
g
a
n

Yusupov DD.MM.YYYY inflicted many blows to the head of Yusupova inflicted many blows to various parts of the body of Yusupova, and afterward, having dragged Yusupova to the living room at the address indicated above, pushed her to the sofa. After continuing his criminal actions, having taken a rolling pin from the kitchen of the house returned to the living room, where he repeatedly with considerable physical force inserted the rolling pin into Yusupova’s vagina he inflicted the indicated bodily injuries upon her in the evening, and death occurred on the morning of DD.MM.YYYY, she lay on the sofa dying Bodily injuries in the form of: rupture of the posterior wall of the vagina with hemorrhaging of the soft tissues of the cervix and vagina, complicated by traumatic hemoperitoneum, bruising and wounds on the external genital organs, bruising on the body, on the upper and lower extremities sustaining the indicated bodily injuries from a fall from one’s own height is ruled out and the indicated injuries may have been sustained upon the insertion into the vagina of a rolling pin to a depth of 12-15 cm.

FULL_NAME6 fell on the bridge,
grew enraged,
began to threaten:
“I’ll kill you, I’ll rape you”,
hit her.

FULL_NAME6 pulled her out of the car by the collar,
began to throw her around,
hit her across the face,
pulled her hair.

“I’ll kill you, I’ll rape you”

She understood, he wants to hit her against his knee,
she fell back.
Fatykhov ran up to her,
she headed in the direction of the bridge.

FULL_NAME6 fell on the bridge,
grew enraged, ,
began to threaten:
“I’ll kill you, I’ll rape you”,
hit her.

She saw
a stick,

about a meter in length,
a circumference of 5-7 cm,
a mass of 3-4kg,
smooth,
wet,
appearing to be
birch,
she took this
stick
by the narrow end and

hit

FULL_NAME6
with this
stick
on the
head

at first
on
the left
side,

he began to curse obscenely and grabbed her,
she became frightened and

hit

him
on
the head
on
the right
side,

the third hit

she
inflicted
on
the left
side,
he
groaned.

The first hit
was not strong,
but not insignificant,

the second hit –

stronger,
than the first,

he grabbed the railing
and bent over the bridge.

Holding on to the railing, he advanced on her, exactly how she does not remember, either FULL_NAME6 bent to the railing…
in this moment
she

hit him

with this
stick
on the
back of the head,
he stumbled a bit,

she dropped
the stick
and ran away,

behind her she heard a sound,
like a slap.

In total she

hit

him 3-4 times,
she doesn’t remember exactly.

FULL_NAME6 did not expect this,

all the blows

she directed at his head.

In this moment she felt towards him

fear,

hatred.

She picked from the ground
a thick
stick,
in order to have a chance at deflecting;
in this moment in the aim of self-defense
she swung and

hit him

with all her strength with

a stick

to

his head.

FULL_NAME6 grabbed his head and groaned.
After this he began to express himself obscenely,
threatening
that he would
kill her.

Frightened for her life,
several more times she

hit him

with a stick

in the

vicinity of

the head.

FULL_NAME6 grabbed the railing of the bridge,
bent down across the railing,
she
again

hit

him

with the stick.

From the inflicted blow FULL_NAME6 tumbled over the railing
and fell into .
She ran towards ,
reached the tracks
by public transit reached
and by train to

escaping FULL_NAME6,
she went to the left side of the bridge,
stopped by a concrete curb.
FULL_NAME6 was stumbling,
and somewhere in this time he fell.
She walked across the bridge to the middle,
at the curb,
on the side,
she saw
a stick-branch,
took it in her hand
and put it
behind her back.

When FULL_NAME6 began to step over the curb,
he tripped and fell to the sidewalk.

she

inflicted

with a

stick

the first

hit

in the

vicinity

of the head,

at first to the left half,
he began to curse obscenely,
and grabbed at her,
and she became frightened and

hit

him

on the

head

on the right side.

The Third

hit

she

inflicted

on the

head

on the

left side,

he moaned.

The First

hit

was
not strong,
but not insignificant,

the second

hit –

stronger
than
the first,

he grabbed the rail and bent over the bridge.

Holding the rail,
he advanced on her,
exactly how she does not remember,
either FULL_NAME6 bent over to the railing…
in this moment

she

hit

him

with this

stick

on the

back of the head,

he stumbled a little,
she threw
the stick
and ran,
behind her heard a sound,
like a slap.

In total

she

hit

him

3-4 times,
she doesn’t remember exactly

after that, how FULL_NAME6
dragged her from the automobile,
began
to threaten
rape,
grabbed her by the hair,
tried to hit her head against his knee,
inflicted several blows, –
FULL_NAME6 stumbled
and fell on the asphalt.
In this moment
she had already escaped
from FULL_NAME6,
when he began to stand up,
she began to move away
from him
on the left side of the bridge
in the direction of the village ,
heard,
that he stumbled
and fell,
stood,
once more approached her,
vocalizing threats.

On the side of the road
she saw

a wooden

stick

approximately

a meter

long,

diameter

7-8 cm,

narrowed at one end,

the stick

was

wet

and

heavy,

took

this

stick

with both hands,

because she would not have been able to hold it with one hand

and

hit

with this

stick

the area
around the left
ear.

FULL_NAME6 grabbed at the area,
where
she had

hit him

and kneeled,
when he removed his hand,

she

inflicted

one

blow

with the

stick

to the same site

on his head.

FULL_NAME6 bent his head
and grabbed with his hand
the left side of his head,
he continued to threaten her,
she became frightened and

inflicted

a hit

on

the head

on the right side,
three or four times

hit

with a stick

with

greater

force

than the previous two hits,

as she remembers it,

hit

him

with

all

the

strength

she

had.

After this FULL_NAME6 began to get up from the ground,
holding onto the railing of the bridge,
he continued to threaten her,
she walked away from him approximately 2 steps,
FULL_NAME6 held the railing of the bridge with his left hand,
and the right one hung down
and, when he leaned on the railing of the bridge,

she

with

all

her

strength

inflicted

a hit

to

the head

from the back,
to the back part of the head,
threw the
stick
in the river
and ran
toward the side of ,
when she ran from FULL_NAME6,
heard the splash of water,
but did not turn around.

the death of FULL_NAME6 DOB DD.MM.YYYY
was due to splintered-fragmented bone fracture of the
cranial vault and the spreading of cracks on the base of the skull.

Before his death FULL_NAME6 had consumed alcoholic beverages.

The fracture of the bones of the skull occurred due to several blows from a blunt hard object

at least 3 blows,

with very

great

force

with the narrowed end
of a blunt hard object
of great mass (comparable to the mass of the head)
and hardness, comparable to the hardness of the bones of the cranial vault

with very great force

heavy

wet

stick,

heavy wet stick,

its large dimensions,
strength of the impacts,
and their number,

hits

with a stick

hits with a stick

were inflicted
intentionally

with
considerable
force

to
a vital organ –
the head,
causing life-threatening bodily harm,
resulting in the victim’s death

heavy wet stick,
with very great force
hits with a stick
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
hits
to the
vital organ –
the head
for the purpose of self-defense

Translated from the Russian by Nataliya, edited by Alex Karsavin.


LIDA YUSUPOVA is the author of three books of poetry, Irasaliml, Ritual C-4, and Dead Dad, along with the prose work Love Has Four Hands (U liubvi chetyre ruki), together with Margarita Meklina. Dead Dad was awarded the Difference (Razlichie) poetry prize in 2017, honoring her “books in which poetry becomes an investigation.” “The jury took special note of the innovative and uncompromising language in her discussions of violence.” In 2016 she received an invitation to attend AATSEEL (the American Association of Teacher of Slavic and East-European Languages) offered annually to a single poet. Her work has been published in the journals Air (Vozdukh), Mitya’s Magazine (Mitin Zhurnal), Modern Poetry in Translation, St. Petersburg Review, Atlanta Review, and others. Her verse has been translated into English, French, Ukrainian, Lithuanian, Hebrew, Czech, and Polish. She has lived in Petrozavodsk, St. Petersburg, and Jerusalem and now resides in Toronto and on an island off the coast of Belize.